Ho, ho, ho!*
Dear Mom and Dad
How are you I am fine? How is skiing in Gstaad? Camp is okay better than hanging around a ski lodge.
There are three cats here. Froth hunts mice and picks fights Moonshine hides. Habib eats and hangs around Counselor Kate.
Counselor Bill's a slumlord he works for Friends Rehab. He's teaching me to juggle.
Counselor Kate is an editor she said she would help me with spelling and punkchuation but Izzy said she did it for him and he didn't reckanize his letter when she was done so I don't think so. Ennyway, we make cookies a lot. After the first time she put the hot pepper sauce way up high where I can't reach it I guess they don't like Mexican food.
Counselor Nell is home for Christmas from Boston University she's 21. She said she'd teach me to make scrambled eggs she'll let me put in the hot pepper sauce.
I gotta go it's time for KP. At home Cook never lets me help with the dishes but Counselor Kate says I can't break anything it's all indestrucktable is that the right word? Plastic ennyway.
No need to rush home just because school is starting next week Counselor Kate is on the board of Newtown Friends it's a Quaker school can I go there? I could live here with the cats and not get under Cook's feet.
Your son Bubba Beauregard
P.S. Thanks for the Christmas presents Counselor Bill is threatening to rent a storage locker for them but I think it's a joke.
*Make that heh, heh, heh!
The information in this transmission is intended solely for the addressee(s) named above. (Never mind that there may be as many as 666 addressees.) If you are not an addressee, you have received this transmission in error and are strictly prohibited from reading or disclosing it. (The e-police are authorized to gouge out your eyeballs if you read it and to rip out your tongue if you disclose it.) The information in this transmission is highly confidential and may be subject to legally enforceable privileges (including a star chamber inquiry; you are not entitled to be mirandized). Unless you are an addressee, you may violate these privileges and subject yourself to liability if you do anything with this transmission other than immediately deleting this transmission and contacting us by telephone at 666-666-0666 (where you will encounter an automated answering loop with a 90-minute repeat cycle) or by electronic mail at SYSADM@DALYCAMPCHRISTMAS.NET. (The mailer daemon will not deliver to that address and will not notify you of failure to deliver.) This transmission is encrypted so that only a government wipe of your hard drive can delete it. You are fully responsible for this circumstance.
Thank you (we allege).
P.S. Did you notice that we put this notice at the end of the transmission, so that you would not see it until it was too late?